I hear your dog ran away….the one that you let stay outside in the freezing cold and rain for 4 days and nights last winter. Yeah, that dog. He was so cold and wet when I saw him, he looked as if he was going to die. I hear someone brought him inside, gave him a bath, food and water and introduced him to their pack.
The same dog who was out in this southern heat last summer and you gave him no water to drink and no shade from the sun…yeah, that dog. We put fresh water out three times a day so,he could stop drinking that dirty sewer water.
The same dog who was scavenging for food, the one you all never spoke to. The one who was hit , had a broken paw and you all never got him medical attention for it. The same dog who woke me up 5:00 a.m. yelping. When I looked out the window, I saw you standing over him with your fist in the air…ready to strike him again. Yeah, that dog.
Well, I’m sorry. I can’t help you but. I hear he’s doing ok.
I hear he’s being treated like royalty now. He has food and water and treats every day. He has all of his shots and gets all the belly rubs he could ever want! He doesn’t worry about the cold and rain anymore because, I hear he’s inside where it’s safe and warm. That dude even jumps in the bed and chills out as if he owns it…I hear.
He’s happy and he’s loved…at least, that’s what I hear.
So, don’t worry your dog abusing self about him.
I hear he’s doing JUST FINE.
*this post is rated “G”…for the ghettoliciousness of it all* reader beware!
Well, this weekend I went to my “extra gig” where I’m the supervisor at this little facility on the wet west bank. After this experience, I don’t know how I let my friends convince me to go into these facilities with them. I guess I’m one of those glutton for punishment type of people. I’m sure there was a full moon this weekend because, the crazies were out in full force. At least no one was beat up this weekend…but, it almost happened.
Saturday night, I had two nurses going at it…one white, one black (I’ll call vanilla and chocolate.)
It’s 10 at night and all is quiet. Me and two of the cna’s are at one station watching a movie..(hey, don’t judge us man.) We’re sitting there and all of a sudden, we hear all of this yelling and screaming coming from down the hall.
Me: what the hell is that?
So, we step from behind the nurses station and all I see is nurse vanilla in the middle of the hallway screaming,
ALI! YOU BETTER COME GET THIS B*TCH!
*why me …lawd…why me?*
So, me and the cna’s scurry down the hallway and while walking there…it’s hitting me like a tornado:
nurse vanilla: this b*tch don’t know who she playin with…
nurse chocolate: no, YOU don’t know who YOU playin with…
nurse vanilla: I been here for 16 hours!! I’m ready to get the hell out of here! This b*tch is on the phone!
nurse chocolate: I don’t give a f*ck how long you been here b*tch!
*why me….lawd…why me*
So, my mind has automatically gone to thinking that their narcotic count is off. In the nursing realm, the one thing that will get two nurses going at it is a bad narcotic count. Before you accept the keys from the nurse leaving, they both do a count of the narcotics at that station. and if it’s off, war breaks out because, no one wants to have to deal with all of the drama that can come from narcotics missing.
So, after listening to them go at it, I still didn’t understand what the hell it was about. And they’ve gotten closer and closer to one another… like they are about to set if off in this here joint.
I somehow end up right in between them…Medusa and The Cracken.
But I wasn’t worried about any fists flying over my head because they already know that at 5′ tall…if you come near me, I’m not busting heads for the white meat…I’m going straight for grey matter!
me:WAIT, WAIT! …is the count off?! …I gotta scream over the screaming.
two crazy nurses: NO! We ain’t even counted yet!!!
ok, this is when they got the “ya’ll two stupid asses up in here ” look from me.
me to nurse vanilla: you, go stand over there.
me to nurse chocolate: come on, let’s count.
So, I’m doing the count with nurse chocolate and I hear nurse vanilla (while she’s calling the director of nurses from her cell phone) say,
“this bitch about to make me go back to jail!”
… not TO JAIL but, BACK to jail….hmmm.
* I couldn’t make this stuff up if I wanted to*
The narcotic count is good and I walk nurse vanilla outside to her car and she finally leaves.
BUT WAIT IT ONLY GETS BETTER….
Sunday, I’m back at the same place and around 9 p.m. , all of a sudden there is a radio playing at full-volume coming from one of the rooms. While the cna and I are walking to the room, I hear a patient yelling…f* all you mother f*ers! Leave me the f* alone! We go to the room, and old boy is sitting there smoking (a big no-no) and somehow has a daiquiri. He’s steadily screaming @ no one! He’s in the room alone. He spots us and screams GET THE F* OUTTA HERE!…LEAVE ME THE F* ALONE!
So, I walk away from ole’ psycho and call Jefferson Parish Officers (J.P.) to the scene. I call my friend, who is the director of nurses at this crazy facility and she says she wants him out of the place, tell JP to take him.
3 JP officers arrive and escort ole’ psycho out of the building. Psycho man says he’s going around the corner to his brother.
15 minutes later…psycho man has returned…with his brother…psycho, the sequel.
Psycho the sequel, accost the nurse (who is 9 months pregnant)demanding to know who put his brother out. She tries to explain to him about the aggressive behavior but, he doesn’t want to hear that and keeps walking down the hall…towards me.
Nurse calls JP back to facility.
Psycho 2, approaches me and all I can say is… he must have seen it in my face ( I DO NOT have a poker face) because all of the ranting and raving grief he gave the other nurse, did not come my way.
psycho 2: Who put my brother out?
me:your brother is out of control and aggressive,we can’t have him in here like that. JP escorted him off of the premises and we were told that, if he returns to call them back and they’d be back.
psycho 2: oh, but he has nowhere to go…he wouldn’t hurt a fly.
me: *thinking….he just walked around the corner to your house, if he wouldn’t hurt a fly…keep his tail by you until the morning.* But, what came outta my mouth was, “I’m sorry, we have to consider the welfare of all of the other patients, he can’t remain in here.”
Now, JP is in the building again and escorting psycho 1 and 2 out of the building.
Psycho 2 comes back three times…yeah JP was with him each time, they hung around for a while…trying to get me to let ole’ boy stay.
I read that chart…homeboy threatened to shoot a person at another facility, he has extremely aggressive behavior,he is a schizophrenic with….traumatic brain injury!
Can you even get any crazier than that?
And I know the problem….no third floor Charity is the problem.
There is no place for the psychotic people to go and now, family members are putting them in extended-care facilities… where they have elderly people…good grief.
The director of nurses calls me up…it’s 3 a.m. and I’ve been in this place too darn long.
me: why the hell did you call me for this mess up in here?
her: because, I know you can handle it.
Yeah chick, forget all the flattery…put it in my paycheck…put it in my paycheck.
One year ago, we lost an icon in our city.
Someone who touched the lives of thousands and changed the climate of our culture that is Mardi Gras.
A man so loved and respected not only by this city but, the entire region…the entire nation.
Today, I am honoring the legendary Mr. Edwin Harrell Hampton who passed away one year ago (July 21st.)
Mr. Hampton mentored thousands of musicians over the course of his 50+-year career leading the legendary “Marching 100.”
Arriving at St. Augustine High School in 1952, Mr. Hampton immediately set about starting what would become a world-renowned and hugely influential marching band, which he continued to direct until his retirement after Hurricane Katrina.
We love you Hamp…we miss you. Calling out my Purple Knights, I know you’re here…show ’em the love.
Yesterday, I was reading one of my favorite bloggers, Afromamba’s post. On her site she was counting down her five favorite songs that had her hooked within the first 5 seconds of it.
One of the songs was, Somebody To Love by Queen.
Now, I have always been a fan of Queen for as long as I can remember. However, this weekend, I was really in more of a “George Michael mood.”
But, I couldn’t get the damned song, Somebody To Love outta my head.
…and THEN it hit me.
Just like that Reese’s commercial…SOMEBODY put chocolate in my peanut butter….SOMEBODY put peanut butter on my chocolate!
Viola!..or as my nephew used to say, WAL-LA!
Now, Freddie is Freddie and anyone who knows Queen, knows what that means.
But, if ANYBODY was EVER going to sing this song…
they found the right one when they found George….he sang the piss out of this song! Check the video out at 4:03…he even had Brian smiling!
Freddie would be proud George…very proud.
My daughter, Yellow Jacket and I just celebrated our birthdays…yep, she was born on my birthday. She tried to jack my day from me 16 years ago and has been trying to jack stuff from me ever since.
Yellow Jacket is sweet 16 and I’m tangy sweet 47.
We started the day at Cafe du Monde on Vets. Blvd and got some beignets. Being the “beignet connoisseur” that I am, I gotta tell ya…the best beignets are on Vets…not in the French Quarters. They make them too spongy out there so if ya ever want some really great ones and can head out to Metairie…go there.
uhh, I don’t know how Purple Knight ended up in the car…getting our birthday beignets. A mouth full of ’em too!
I think I’ve been going to this place just a tad too much though. When the lady saw us walk through the door, she yelled “three orders and three large chocolate milks coming up.”
Imma need to take a break from that joint…yeah, right.
I need to own stock in it, I go there so much.
For dinner, Navy Seal and I went to Copelands. YellowJacket went to drain her dad’s pockets dry dinner and then shopping with her dad.
The thing I hate most about Copelands (yep, you read hate) is that, I love every darn thing on the menu…that makes it hard for me to pick something to eat.
I decided on:
Appetizer-Crawfish Bread (never had it before…will be eating it every chance I get now)
Main Course-Stuffed Shrimp with Tasso butter cream
Dessert-Strawberry Cheesecake (which I got for free since it was my birthday!)
Good lawd! That food is great over there!! I’ve yet to have a bad experience at Copelands. After we were rolled out on our big bellies had eaten dinner, NavySeal and I went to a Latin Club and listened to some great music.
Next month, we’re taking Salsa lessons with the New Orleans Salsa Dancers on Magazine St. Should be fun…I know it’ll be interesting. I’ll be posting updates about the lessons.
All in all, it was a wonderful day and YellowJacket is a happy camper with all of her gifts.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL… I hope you are always as happy as you were, the day you took this picture.