This weekend, one of my nephews came over. I call him my “other son” since he and my son are exactly two months apart to the date. His mother brought him over and I asked her how she was doing. She went on to tell me how she is feuding with a woman who lives in her apartment complex. When she told me the of the things that was going down between the two of them, all I could do was shake my head. To me, it is just insane that two grown women are going at it, tormenting one another. I have to tell you a little about my nephew’s mother. She’s a very pretty woman with a flawless complexion, beautiful light brown eyes, gorgeous smile….and as rough as they come! This girl and her twin sister…WHEW! Will fight at the drop of a hat. While some woman was standing there ranting about all she was going to do, twin dropped her in mid-sentence. She has no problem throwing the first punch…pregnant or not*sigh* She hung out in the roughest projects in NOLA…Calliope, Magnolia and Melpomene. Twin is 34 and is always saying how she is a changed person and goes to church so, I brought her in and we had a long talk. All I did was ask her this question…. are you the person you want God to see?
To say you want to change means nothing if you are doing the same thing, over and over again. I wanted her to get that, bothering the woman does nothing but pour fuel on the fire and it really says more about who SHE is than it does the person she is harassing (she had never looked at it like that.)
Years ago, I decided that, I did not want to be the “angry black woman” flying off the handle and then thinking, “I showed them, I really told them off.” I wanted to be better than that because, people dismiss you when you go off like that. Instead of getting your point across, you just come off looking like some crazy, sad soul. I didn’t want God to see that when he saw me because, no matter who much good I did in this world, it was just being nullified by the sharpness of my tongue. Good works mean nothing if you are planting bad seeds to harvest…words are seeds. Have you ever looked at the roots of an oak tree? Words are like that…huge, deep and heavy.
I didn’t want those bad seeds planted in my life but mostly, I didn’t want that to be written in my book of life. When I’m 90ish and cross over, I don’t that read back or flashed back in front of me when I stand before the throne.
When I decided to change, there were a few friends I had to let go. One in particular, loved drama just a tad too much. Every single thing was a battle for her and last I heard, she was still like that at 49 years old. I am at a stage in my life where, I enjoy the quiet zone. That’s not to say that, I can’t “go there” (I haven’t met a sistah who couldn’t) but, I pick my battles. Every fight is not my fight. I have a husband, two teenagers, an 80 y/o father, a slew of brothers and 16 nieces and nephews…I NEED PEACE IN MY LIFE..lol
I usually blog-hop looking for interesting blogs to read. I’ve come across all sorts and there are quite a few I enjoy but, by far my most favorite blogs in alphabetical order are; crooked letter I, cyncere sister, ladylee, Ms. Saditty and Serenity 30. These beautiful “sophisticated ladies” are so intelligent and articulate. I have read every page of their blogs and they are the epitome of the strength in women to me.
KUDOS TO YOU LADIES BECAUSE YOUR BLOGS ROCK!
Twin and I talked for about 20 minutes and she made me tear up because, she told me that, I am the only person who encourages her to be better. She has no voice of reason in her world. Everyone just keeps egging her on to harass the other person, finding entertainment in the situation. I told her that, I expect more from her…I expect her to be the woman I know she can be. I expect her to be someone SHE can be proud of.
That’s a hard question to ask yourself…Are you really the person you want God to see. Many, many days, my answer was no. All I could do on those days was say “sorry Lord, I’ll try again tomorrow.” However, as the days go by, I am getting more and more yes days. My patience is longer with people, my tongue not so sharp. I prefer the kinder side of me. I would rather build someone up with my words than tear them down. I would rather reach your heart than kill your spirit.
Because, at the end of the day, life really is a journey…the road you take, is up to you.
*post note….I had to correct a typo.., that was suppose to be ladylee. But this is what I wanna know…how is it that, my daughter found the error?