Caligula Faux Pas

The other day since I had some time to kill, I decided to go to Barnes and Noble to see what kind of deals they had.  Well, I ended up in the dvd section and they had this great deal of buy 2 get 1 free.  Great!  I get to stock up on some dvd’s that I either lost in the storm or had always wanted to buy but didn’t.

I go to the section where all of the drama movies are and I see this movie Caligula.  I figure this would be a movie Navy Seal and I could both enjoy…a medium between my “girly girl” movies and his “military” movies.

My husband and I are both history buffs…he much more than I, he’s a darned historian.  I just like to know a lot about really crazy people of the past…Caligula,Nero, Stalin etc.   and since I know Caligula was crazy as catshit, I really wanted to see how they portrayed him in the movie.

The movie is and old 1979  flick, it’s unrated (which I could not figure out why at the time) and looked as though it would be good but, to be on the safe side I call Navy Seal.

me: hey, have you ever seen this movie Caligula with Peter O’Toole in it?

him: years ago, why?

me: I’m thinking of buying it, is it good?

him: it’s nothing to write home about but, get it if you want to.

me: ok.

So, old Caligula comes home with me.

The next day, I’m at work and since I have an hour to kill, I decided to watch some of Caligula.  I pull out my trusty-dusty dvd player and began to watch.

The first scene is two people(male and female) running around in a field which is cool but, I noticed that the female has one boob hanging out of her clothes.

So, I’m thinking  ohh, okay…we’re rated R off the jump.

I keep watching and I’m hit with another scene with this dude being punished for something…I can’t remember what it was for because I was too busy trying to figure out,

why in the world am I staring at a pe.nis right now?

Old boy was having something done to the family jewels…and it looked painful.

I clicked the scene selection button to browse through the movie right quick to see if I can determine where this movie is going and the next scene …

OMG…a full, blown!!!

Well, shit  they’ve got my attention now…lol.

Now I’m trying to see if this is soft po.rn or hard stuff.

I look at the scene and…this is hard-core stuff!!

It’s all plain as day! You name it…they doing it!

How the hell is this at Barnes and Noble….in the DRAMA SECTION?

The drama section …next to Forrest Gump,Beautiful Mind,etc…

I read the back cover and it has and I quote,

Before Rome, Before Gladiator.  The most controversial film of all time as you’ve never experienced it before!  Combing lavish spectacle and top award-winning stars, this landmark production is now presented in a beautiful new high-definition transfer from recently uncovered negative elements.  From the moment he ascends to the throne as Emperor, Caligula (A Clockwork Orange’s Malcom McDowell) enforces a reign like no other as power and corruption transform him into a deranged beast whose deeds still live on as some of the most depraved in history.  Also starring Peter O’Toole (Lawrence of Arabia) and Academy Award winners Helen Mirren(The Queen) and John Gielgud (Arthur) this unflinching look at the decadence of Ancient Rome will startle and amaze you like no other film ever made.

Is that code for… get your freak on without anyone ever knowing?

Nowhere did I read…this is a movie with po.rn scenes!!!

Good thing I didn’t have anyone sitting near me when the damned movie started playing…knowing the people I work with, they would have taken the movie from me and watched the whole darn thing on the job…lol.

So, now I’m stuck with Caligula, the unrated po.rn movie from Barnes and Noble.

Funny this is…I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad one.


Wishing all of you wonderful father’s out there in blogland ( some pretty awesome guys read my blog)

A VERY HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!!!!    Enjoy your day!!

Gotta post early since some of us (me) have to work .sigh.

Special shout-out to the men in my life….you guys are beyond great…love you!

yellow jacket and dad
Navy Seal and Purple Knight
NavySeal and Purple Knight
Brother #6 and family.
Brother #5 and daughter
brother #3 and family
WDW 1970's with dad
yellow jacket and her grandpa

Treme…Creighton and I

I’ve just finished watching Sunday’s episode of  Treme and apparently, ole Creighton has committed suicide.

Hmmmm, suicide….

Depression around that time was hitting just about everyone… whether your home was damaged or not.  Add to that, the fact that Creighton could no longer do what he loved which was to write. I guess the pain was just too much.  He just wanted the pain to end.

Better yet, he just wanted the NUMBNESS  to end.

That’s what PTSD does…makes you feel numb.

My hubby says that, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  That everyone goes through a “rough patch” at some point and time.  The thing about clinical depression and post-traumatic stress syndrome is this…

It feels like you’ve fallen into an abyss….and everyday…you fall deeper into it.

It doesn’t FEEL temporary ..and you just want it to end.

When I came home after the storm, I was already sad because I was away from my kids. I was sad because my home was destroyed.  I was sad because my life was turned completely upside down.

The depression came later.

The post-traumatic stress syndrome symptoms hit me after that.

And it creeps up on you…one day you’re sad and the next day…you can’t go to work anymore.

It’s deeper than the crying that most people were doing in the city at the time.

I couldn’t sleep.  If I got three hours of sleep time in…I’d dream of flood waters.

I couldn’t concentrate…couldn’t read.

Couldn’t remember shit.

Couldn’t speak correctly….had trouble forming my words.

It got so bad that,  my husband and I call it “katrina tongue.”

I felt numb.

All the things I love to do like crocheting, reading, taking non-credit courses to learn new stuff (hey, I’m a nerd so sue me), I could not do.

I was paralyzed.

And I get that,  his wife and his daughter missed it because…you put up a front to fool the people closest to you so that they THINK  you’re alright.

You’re walking around as if everything is fine but, really all you want to do is be left alone.

Because, your mind has gone somewhere that, you just can’t quite put your finger on…

and it has taken your spirit to that same place.

The city was empty, they needed nurses everywhere at that time…6 months after the storm.

I remember saying to myself , “I’m about to make a killing here…the kids aren’t here, hubby working 12 hr shifts….no one to worry about, I can work until I drop!”

The problem came when I tried to walk out of the door…I couldn’t.

I. Could.Not.Work.

Jan. 2006,I went to Del.gado to take a sign language course.  I went through registration and everything.

The first day of class, I couldn’t leave the house.

I never went to the class…I COULDN’T.

I wanted to…I COULD NOT GO.

I wanted to go out there on mardi gras day…I could not go.

I remember driving down Franklin Ave near the lake and saying to myself,” if I just keep driving straight, I’ll end up in the lake.”

Clinical depression + post traumatic stress = suicidal thoughts.

That’s why so many people were committing suicide around that time.

It had nothing to do with them not feeling  fabulous or not loving themselves or their families.

It’s that damned abyss they fell into.

So, how did I climb out?

There was a big-ass billboard on Gentilly Blvd. that said something about call this number if you needed someone to talk to.

I didn’t think I needed someone to talk to at the time but, I knew that I wasn’t feeling my normal self…so, I called.

Turns out, I had all of the symptoms of PTSD and clinical depression.

I spoke to a physician I know and after telling him some stuff, he suggested that I get on some medication to “even out my mood.”

HELL NAW!  That was my reaction.

I just wasn’t ready to concede to being medicated…not yet.

I found a counselor and started talking it out…that helped a lot.

But, what really pulled me out of my abyss…and I know this is going to sound weird to a lot of people but, hey…it happens.

One day, I ended up watching Frasier on television. I had never seen this series before…and I laughed until I could not breathe!  That shit was sooo damned funny. I couldn’t remember the last time that, I had laughed like that.

That laughter, made me feel as if I was alive…not just living and going through the motions…ALIVE.

It made me FEEL something.

My husband I would watch Frasier every time it came on the television and every, single time I laughed so hard, I literally had to hold my stomach.

Needless to say, I purchased all 11 seasons of Frasier and laughed my way back to my “semi-sane” self.

I make sure that I FEEL my life (don’t know if that makes sense to all of you.)

Sometimes, we’re living but we aren’t feeling that life.

That’s what the PSTD does…among other things, it makes you feel numb.

I get that Creighton’s mind went there, even though his house was spared the flood waters.

Everyone was affected by the storm in some form or fashion.

I get that his family couldn’t see the suicide coming.

I get that he fell into the abyss.

I’m just glad that…I got out.

Vieux- To- Do

I love this time of year.  Even though it’s hot as heck, the festivals that this time of year brings, makes all of that heat worthwhile.   Yellow Jacket, Navy Seal and I went to the French Quarters for the festivals and let me tell ya… we had so much fun!  It was really cloudy before we got there so, we brought some rain gear with us.  Good thing we did because, as soon as we hit the Quarters…it started raining. That didn’t stop the show though…I was near some serious food and crazy-great Cajun-Zydeco music, there was no way we were turning back.

We walked through the tomato fest first and I spotted some fried green tomatoes.  Since I’ve never had them before, I decided to give them a try.See the dude in the yellow raincoat?  That’s NavySeal. There was no way I was standing in the rain to get them tomatoes!  They were great…didn’t get to keep the dish too long though.

Yeah, she stole it from me.

We kept it light, just walking and eating our way though the Quarters…good thing we were WALKING because,

crab cakes with crawfish monica sauce

I went back THREE TIMES for this dish!

Well, I sent my hubby three times to get the

The music out there was off the chain! Next time, Imma have to video this stuff because, Dwayne Dopsie and the Zydeco Hellraisers brought the house down! They played, When The Saints Go Marching In…Zydeco style and started a 2nd line.  Folks were doing the Cajun two-step and anything else they wanted to do.

It was just a really wonderful day out there…nobody cared about the rain. Food, friend, family and fun. Hot fun in the summertime had by all.

No need to leave the hotel...the party is just outside!
Dwayne Dopsie and the Zydeco Hellraisers
Dwayne Dopsie and Zydeco Hellraisers
2nd line goin' down...see all the towels in the air?...true NOLA.
getting their two-step on
Latin Band playing at Tomato Fest
getting their salsa on.
Zydeco Fest @ Esplande Ave.
dance your a** off was going down too out there.
she's getting ready!

It’s too darned hot…and other random ramblings.

I just had to put that out in the atmosphere…maybe we’ll get a break from it.  It’s hot as “panther-piss” here(why do people say that? Who tested how hot panther pee is anyway?) I hate the summers here in the deep south…it’s too darned hot and too darned humid.

I’m just waiting in the wings for November to get here…really fast.

School is over for the kids which means…higher utility bills for me.  Why do they need  EVERYTHING  to be on in the room?

I’ve bee monitoring the growth of my little garden and it’s really doing well.

herb garden today

I even started growing bell peppers and I think I have quite the green thumb because,

I’ve got baby peppers!!! GO ME!

I can’t wait for them to get really big so, I can stuff them.  I may never buy bell peppers again!

My daughter has just informed me that, she wants to go natural.  She wants to get rid of the relaxed hair and do the “big chop.”  I’m all for it, I think she would take better care of her hair if it was in it’s natural state.

She wants me to cut my hair short again. I’m not for getting a cut right now…it’s too easy being lazy and putting it in a bun….I’m turning into my mother *sigh*

I don’t do any posts about the oil spill because, it’s too depressing to me. I was teary-eyed putting up the oil-covered pelican, there’s no way I could do a blog post.

This weekend is the Creole Tomato Fest and the Louisiana Seafood Fest in the French Quarters by the French Market…I’m going.  I love these festivals because, they are held in conjunction with the Cajun-Zydeco Festival near the same location.  It’s like having three festivals rolled into one and the best part is…IT”S FREE!  I’ve been going for a few years and it is always terrific.  The food is out of this world and the music is awesome.  My husband and I both love Zydeco music so, we always have fun.   One of these days, I’m gonna learn how to do that Zydeco two-step.

I miss my dad.  I don’t really like him living in Texas…nothing against Texas but, I feel like a part of my pack is missing without him here.

I wish I had more for you guys but, this humidity is playing tag with my sinuses and it’s tagging the hell outta me.  Gotta go find something to relieve this sinus pressure.

I’m out.

A Damned Shame!

A Brown Pelican sits covered in oil on the beach at East Grand Terre Island along the Louisiana coast on Thursday, June 3. Oil from the Deepwater Horizon has affected wildlife throughout the Gulf of Mexico.

Death sentence

Jim Seida says: Photographer Charlie Riedel came across some oil-soaked pelicans today and made what I think are some of the most tragic images to come out of this event.

*all content comes from phot0blog on MSNBC.COM