Adventures Of Internet,Phone Chat Line Dating.

There’s a really wonderful blog that I frequent and she brought up the subject of internet dating.  Now, I must confess, I never dated anyone from the internet before but, that’s only because I really wasn’t into being on the computer for hours on end like I am now.  One of my brothers met his wife on the internet and they have been married for 11 years and have two beautiful children.  Their marriage is as strong as any I have ever seen, they really are “yin and yan-ish. Now, while I didn’t use the internet, I did use a phone chat line service for this area and that’s where my adventures begin.  My girlfriend and I got on the service together and between the two of us, we had some pretty amazing times.  Yes, people lie their azzes off on those things but hey, don’t people you meet on the street trying to hook up with you lie as well?  Ya gotta weed out the bad ones from the good ones.

First off ,on this chat line you had to put a small bio about who you were and who were trying to meet.  I really don’t remember much of what I put but, I know that I put I was petite. I never used to tell men that I was a nurse when I first met them because, you could hear the “cha-chings” going off in their head. For the longest, many men thought I was unemployed because I never would tell them my occupation.  I remember my service was blowing up though and I talked to many men.  I met quite a few as well.  This one guy in particular, I had been talking to him for quite a bit on the phone about all sorts of things.  I remember he told me he was 5’8” tall,worked as an engineer at Shell and he even sent a picture of himself to my email addy.  My girlfriend looked at the picture and said “he’s nice looking.”  Well, we set a date to meet.   He did a no-call/no-show so, I contacted him via email to find out what happened.  He said, he chickened out and apologized and wanted to meet.  So, another date was set.  We met at the mall(always meet some place really public) and I am sitting there waiting for the person in the picture to walk up to me, you know the 5’8”,nice-looking guy.  Ok, let me say that, I am  exactly 5 feet(or 60 inches, which ever makes me sound taller..lol) Here comes this guy heading my way who is…..SHORTER THAN ME!!   He had a jehri curl(did I mention this happened in the year 1998?) ,and looked NOTHING LIKE that picture!!!  I mean zero, the picture wasn’t him, it was his brother(so he said.)  Well, we went on to eat anyway (mainly because it’s hard for me to say no to a restaurant) and here’s what I found out over the meal….he had CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE…WTF?!!!  Upon hearing that, I excused myself ,ran and found a pay phone. I called my girlfriend and the conversation went like this;

me: girl, this sucka is shorter than my azz, he’s sporting a jehri-curl and has just informed me that he has CHF. He…

girlfriend: interrupts me with..BWHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  And continues to laugh so long and so hard, I started frigging laughing like crazy.

me: I’ll call your crazy azz back when I get home.

So, I go back to “ultra-short,jehri-curl,CHF” man and we had a pleasant lunch but, that was all.

Another guy I met was really, really handsome.  He was about 6 feet,nice complexion(no pock marks or anything),jet black curly hair but, I swear, every time this man opened his mouth you could hear the crickets going off.  It was like nothing was in there.  I used to imagine going inside of his brain and yelling,”HELLO” knowing that, I would get that echo back at me…HELLO…hello..hello.  He was a no-go too.

I remember one my girlfriend met as well.  She told him to meet her on the job(why, I don’t know.)  She knew what he would look like and they were going to have lunch at the hospital cafeteria.  Well, we are sitting at the nurses station and she spots him;

her:  there he is right there.

me: why is he walking like that?

her: I don’t know.

me: he walks like he has a peg leg.

her:*laughing* shut up with your crazy azz.

me: all he needs is the eye patch and he could be Captain Blye.

her:*pokes me in the ribs* laughing so hard she gets up and walks to him.

Well, she went to lunch and came back 40 minutes later with this story; Captain Blye had diabetes. He was in fact, a “brittle diabetic” meaning that, even with insulin his blood sugar is very hard to keep at a normal level.

me: told you he had a peg leg.  No man with two normal legs walk that way.

her:*hits me on the head with someones chart*

We had many, many adventures like these and to be honest, we laughed more than we were angry because, we weren’t looking to get married or anything. We had nicknames for them and made sure we weren’t going out to meet the same men, we had fun.  Probably because we were on there together, we are both crazy as hell and love to laugh.

I remember the last person I met on the chat line service.  It was this guy whose bio read;50 year old Creole living in the ___ area, looking for someone with “joie de vive.”   I called my friend and said, I left a message for“joie de vive “man(that was his nickname.)  He called me back and we talked quite a bit.  It turned out, he lived not too far from me, had graduated from Aug with my cousin and that his niece and I were really good friends in high school.  We met and I thought he was really attractive, with really nice hazel green/gray eyes.  He was very intelligent, measured at genius level(smart is always sexy to me), and was the perfect gentleman.    We went on quite a few dates so, I decided to bring him to the house to meet my people.  Lawd, brothers came from errywhere.  My mom sat him down and in typical New Orleans fashion asked the question; “whose your momma an ’em? and,what part of town are you from?”

After her inquistion, one of my brothers pulled me to the side and said”yeah, he’s cool.”  My dad who never gets out of his chair for anyone, got out of his chair and walked him to the door(that’s the daddy green light.)  We ended up going on many, many dates and long story short…..I married Mr. Joie De Vive.  We have been together for 9 years now and he is still is the sweetest man that I have ever met.  He loves me and the kids unconditionally and will do any and everything possible to make sure that we are safe and secure.  We are best friends and do everything together.

We laugh about how we met and the adventures we both had on the service before finding each other.  And to be honest, meeting someone on the net is no different than meeting someone anywhere else.  The only difference is that, you SEE what that person looks like right away so, you have the option right then and there whether or not to go any further.  On the net or chat line, you usually talk a bit before you meet.  You still have to check someone out no matter where you meet them.  Ted Bundy met women on a college campus, he was charming,handsome and approachable. He was also a serial killer.  You have to take the time to get to know a person,meet in public places, drive your own car, keep private information private until you know the person. 

I would tell anyone who has any reservations about the “new era of dating “to give it a shot.  You only live once, why deny yourself an opportunity to find love or at the very least, a really great story to tell.

You never know where love is lurking.