My dad passed away last Friday and I really don’t know how to process it. Last week I intended to write a blog about caring for the elderly and how hard it was to care for a strong-willed parent who refuses to give up driving. Last Thursday, my dad thought that he was strong enough to get behind the wheel of the car and I gave him the keys fully knowing that he would not make it out of the driveway. He didn’t and I think that’s when reality really set in for him and he realized that he was no longer independent.
The next day, he was gone.
I don’t know how to handle it quite yet. A part of me is relieved that he didn’t suffer. He lived over 88 years on this earth and I was blessed to have him for 55 of them. He’s with my mom now and she probably asked him what took him so long as soon as he crossed over. All 11 of his brothers and sisters have already crossed over as well as his parents and our Cocker Spaniel who loved my dad to pieces. He is now in the presence of the Lord and I’m happy that he got to live his final days in the same house he purchased for his family in 1957.
And that I was able to care for him literally until his dying day.
I just miss him so much. He was my rock…the one person who would never let me fall…no matter what. In all my years and my many screw ups, not once did he ever judge me. He just picked me up, brushed me off and told me to start over.
He could be a pain in the ass…but he was my pain in the ass…and I loved him to infinity and beyond.
I was a daddy’s girl to the bittersweet end.
Living in the house that you grew up in can be a good and bad thing. It’s great because it has so many memories tied into it.
It’s bad because…it has so many memories tied into it.
My dad used to sleep with his table lamp on…I still can’t turn it off.
My dad loved kool-aid and I was the only one who could fix it just like he liked it… I saw the kool-aid in the refrigerator and cried.
The holidays are right on our backs and I have to face this year without him. It’s gonna be hard. I will probably do something in honor of him during that time…don’t know what yet.
My Nyx season is gonna be just a little less sweet. My dad looked forward to the Nyx Myx Ball so he could see what NavySeal and I were wearing. He loved everything Nyx because he knew I did…and he supported any and everything I was ever into.
Saying goodbye to that kind of love and loyalty is hard.
I’m gonna try to keep living my best life to honor him and my mom though. I know that’s what they would want and so it shall be.