The Silence is Deafening

I always thought that I’d love it when my kids were grown.  I come from a fairly large family and there was always a bunch of kids hanging around.  My parents raised 7 of us in this house and then when we began to have kids, my nephews and nieces were always here…mostly the boys. And they were pretty rambunctious  so yeah, it was always pretty loud in this house.  My kids and their first cousins were always getting into something around here.

Most of my nieces and nephews are grown now and beginning to have families of their own.  They aren’t around as much and the family is beginning to splinter off.   I was sort of prepared for that part though. At least there’s Facebook because, we talk often using that site.

What is throwing me for a loop is my own Empty Nest Syndrome.  My kids are grown and the house is so quiet. YellowJacket has been staying by her dad’s house (she’s driving now and her dad has put wheels under her so she’s nesting there) and PurpleKnight is rarely home between working and going to school.  In the fall, he’s going away to college and won’t be here at all.

The house is so still.

The stillness of this house is hitting me like a ton of bricks.

I can only imagine how hard it was for my mom.  It must have been hell for her. My mom had kids around her from 1951 until three months before she died in 2002.  A lot of times, I think that’s what killed her spirit to live….this big, quiet ass house.

It’s obvious that I’m entering another phase of my life.

My third transition.

I have to let it sink in that it’s truly my time now and revamp.   It’s gonna take some effort, much more than I thought.

I don’t think I’ll ever leave New Orleans.

There is always something festive to do here.

And I’m gonna need her to keep me company.

Because the silence around here is deafening.

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26 thoughts on “The Silence is Deafening

  1. I’m the exact opposite – I live for the moment when I get home before my husband – just to have some quiet. I guess that’s the result of getting married at 39 LOL

    • I hope so Ida. At least the city always has something for me to do. Right now it’s Mardi Gras and the festivals begin in March and last until August. Then it’ll be football season, holiday season and then carnival again.

  2. I grew up in a house with 5 kids and in spite of the noise, I tended to always find myself alone or wanting to be alone. I guess that’s the feline part of me; I come out and play and then I retreat into my own space. I’m territorial and don’t like my space or time compromised or tampered with.

    When I had Lil Lady, I knew I didn’t want any more children, but my nephew who’s 14 months her junior was almost always over and she had a couple playmates who’d come over and play. Oddly, there was never a lot of extreme noise, so I’m not sure if they sensed my want and needs for minimal chaos and mess or they just learned it.

    After her father and I split, we shared custody where she spent a week with him and a week with me, so I got used to having the house to myself for at least two weeks a month. After he passed, it was an odd thing for us to being around each other daily. We had our share of ups and downs as a result, but we survived it.

    She and her boyfriend moved in together last April and while it was odd at first not having them around, I got used to it and enjoyed the silence and freedom of being. They’ve decided to moved back at the beginning of April and I’ll have to get used to having them; and the dog around again. It’ll be harder to readjust this time around, but we’re all adults, so we’ll figure it out….HOPEFULLY! LOL!

    So, for now, I’ll continue to enjoy the silence and freedom of being.

    • Ya know Blu, I was like that too. Even though they had a lot of people here, I would come out for a while and then retreat. A lot of my brother’s friends did not know they had a sister for the longest time. I don’t know, even though I like my space, the sound of a lively house just makes me feel good. Maybe it reminds me of my mom because when she was alive,the house always had kids around. I’m gonna have to get used to the silence….or adopt a few noisy puppies.

  3. I know exactly how you feel BayouCreole. I actually thought that I’d miss my two crumbsnatchers too….and I did, for a minute or two. But I’m happy they’ve gotten into their life’s journeys. I do still miss them at times, but I do like the quiet too……..just not too much quiet.

    I can’t believe my two will be graduating from college this year………now I can only hope they stay gone. Ya know, sometimes they come back.

    • Reg, it is a process isn’t it. Wow, both of your kids are graduating? I don’t know what I’m gonna do when both of mine are REALLY gone. Oh, and I know what you mean…I ended up back home with my parents with a baby in tow! Those buggers were so happy to have me back home though it was UNREAL.LOL

      • I don’t know if our children are ever truly gone. Trust me, they will call and ask for $$$ when they need it. I can wait more than a few years for grandchildren.

        Besides………you can always get a dog.

      • Reg, I’ve been looking at a lot of puppies lately. But then, I’d have to potty train the puppy and I don’t feel like going through that again.
        Oh look, she just called me talking about she wants to go to dinner. WTH?!LOL

  4. I feel you. My 19 year old daughter recently left for military training and although she lives with her mom and stepdad, she and I were always together on the weekend. So now that she’s away, it just feels so lifeless around the crib now without her presence.

    *grabs tissue*

  5. Well I know you miss your kids and family being around but just think of all the exciting things you’ll have time for now. Like being a member of that Krewe! Plus, soon you will have grand children running around! 🙂

    • Val, that’s what I’m trying to do…think of all the things I’ll have time for now. Grandchildren?Lawd, I can’t even imagine me being a grandmother. I feel so young! 🙂

      • Val, I tease my kids and tell them I don’t want them bringing their crumb snatchers around me but honestly, I know I’m gonna spoil the grandkids rotten. They can keep the kid until he/she is potty-trained,sleeps all night, can walk,talk and fix his/her own cereal though…lol

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